When it hurts badly... / 12/1/07
How how how? What's happening to you Mate? Are you Okay? Do you need to talk to anyone? What eventually happened?
I hate all these questions...
They make me more frustrated.
Some never call when they know all is not well with me but once they realise that their name is somehow mentioned for the most trivial matter, they start calling and clarifying. A hello would made me feel better. So much for talking about me. I have yet to settle that scare....but I chose not to. They are not worth my attentions.
The conversation with Shaun made me realise how I like the quieter ones in the group and how I never managed to make them realise. My loss. Booo...hooo...
I wish everything ended. Quick. I wish I can wake up in the morning and don't feel that heavy feeling in my heart.
I've felt suicidal for way too long.
But my faith in God and those around me stops me from doing all that I want to do. I wish I was selfish. Helping a friend can lead you into more trouble. Caution! Be selfish.....don't bother helping those who are in need. Everyone around me is doing that and I can't do it! I can't be selfish. I can't eat off a person and stab the person in the back. I'm sorry. I would be the best lover, friend, daughter and Enemy. And I try my best at every role. I have failed many a times...but I'm still human and I'm not you. Stop trying to make me someone I'm not.
Michelle has been a great friend. Always giving me a listening ear. We met in city hall and sat talking for 4 good hours. She made me think and she shared so much.
But today I want to do something different. Something I haven't done in a while. I'm going to meet a stranger....ok not really a stranger but some how a friend. To get high....
Stumble It!
2:28 PM
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